Rockin' Red Christmas party

Me and my chix and my ugly black nails

Jiru, a new family member

She's cute, isn't she?

Location:Timber,Dasmariñas City,Philippines

Ouch

You just broke my heart for the second time around...

When you asked me to delete all our pictures together..

It's like telling me you don't appreciate all our good times together.

I was hurt..

I wish I can tell you how you tore me apart...

But I won't... I will never let you know..

Until the tears fall from my eyes...

On a Thursday aftee

I was waiting for a friend when i decided to take pictures of me... Narcissus is my second name...

thinking...

I have been thinking all day

all night

wondering what to write

speak my heart

speak my mind

but I still can't think

I dunno what's wrong

maybe I'm not inspired

I'm not upset

I'm not depressed

Do you really believe emotion is a state of mind?

If it is, is Love is a state of mind too?

Do you really think when you fall in love?

I went to a park, trying to look for myself,

watched movie and eat out alone,

emptied couple of bottles of liquor

nothing happened..

I wanna shout

I wanna cry,

How come I dont't feel anything?

This is not usual,

I don't want this feeling,

When someone leaves you,

they're taking the biggest part of you,

slowly but surely,

it's hard to recover,

to move on,

to bring back to your own self,

I'm still sitting in the dark,

waiting for you,

and nothing that I can do..

but think about you....

Is that a Christmas Song that I just heard?

Walking in the dark alley...

Quiet place, a lonely place

Cold wind blowing on my cheeks..

As I walk my way home...

As I recall all the good things and bad things that happened...

Suddenly I heard the song..

First Noel...

It reminded me of my childhood days...

Sweet..

Excited to open my gifts..

To hang the socks and wait for Santa to put my presents

I've been nice...

I've been good..

I've been naughty..

I grew old.

Still, I'm alone.

And so I continue walking...

The song keeps lingering in my ears...

I like it...

It makes me warm...

one hello, question mark and my picture

i remember when i was a child i always dream about a picture of me with a special someone,

someone who holds my hands when i'm lost,

cheer me up when i am down,

fix me when i am broken.

as i grow old, i realized that life is complicated,

there are things that you can't simply get,

make them yours,

keep them,

i met you with just one hello,

you had me with just one sweet smile,

i love you with just one kiss,

i thought the person in the picture that i have been dreaming since i was a kid was you,

but i was wrong,

you left with no valid reason,

kept me hanging by saying nothing,

ignored me and took me for granted,

eventhough it hurts me,

eventhough you left a scar in my heart,

i still care..

until now...

the question is still in my mind,

i hope you really cared when we're together,

those memories,

those happy thoughts,

those laughter,

i held on to them to

help me move on,

and hope that someday,

someone will

complete my picture,

have me with one hello,

but won't leave me

with a question mark...

Kiss-naper

One Friday, me and my friends went out to get some booze.

We went to Central in Madison Square in Pioneer.

Ordered A LOT of drinks!!!!

Tipsy, I asked them to go some place else..

I feel like partying to loud music and crowded place.

So we went to a bar somewhere in Ortigas.

My friends were taking pictures inside the bar when I noticed this guy posing as if he was with us.

So I grinned... I smiled.

He's so funny.

He noticed me smiling at his being silly.

He walked towards me and asked me to dance.

He said I'm so quiet and shy (well..I am)

He held my hand and drag me into the dance floor (away from my chair)

He introduced himself and told me stories about his life...

I can barely hear him because of loud music...

So whenever he speaks, he brings his lips closer to my ears.

Sweet!

Then suddenly he told me, can i kiss you?

I smiled back at him.

He kissed my cheeks... once, twice until I lost counting.

It was fun, but I didn't take flirting seriously (hahaha!)

I was so passive that time, so he went back to his friends's table.

I walked back to my chair and drink the beer that someone gave me. (i dunno him either)

He's a kissnaper (of course with consent).

Cute kissnaper... 

I'm not sure if I want to see him again,

But 1 thing is for sure... it was a great night!

Hope to have one again soon.

Pornographed

In red series

new haircut 10.24.2010

moving on... friends?

You'll always be in my heart..

I know it's not gonna be the same way it used to..

But being friends with you is what I always look forward to everyday...

I hope you don't mind.

I always think about the happy times when we're together...

I have no bitterness inside me.

I am even happy that I met you and you let me feel special.

For the short of period of time I was with you,

You have inspired me to become a better person.

I will never forget each time you made me smile.

I hope as we go on with our own lives,

One day, our paths will cross,

We'll meet and greet,

And thank each other that once in our life,

We became friends, and even more than that.

As my special day approaches,

One biggest wish that I ask from god,

Is to let you become part of me,

Become one of my friends,

Because for once in my life,

You saved me.

Friends?

I'm just a text away.

Thank You Wifey...

July 13, 2010 sinundo mo ko sa Gloria Jeans, dito nag start lahat ng magandang bagay na nangyari sa buhay ko. Dun kita nakita, totoo ka pala. Bumabagyo, ang lakas ng hangin at ulan. Hinatid mo ako sa bahay. Ang gaan gaan ng pakiramdam ko sayo nun. Para akong nakajackpot. Ang dating boring na buhay ko, biglang naging makulay. nag-usap tayo sa bahay, nag brownout, umuwi ka na. Di naputol dun ang kwento natin. Nagtuloy tuloy ang pagkikita, ang pagsasama. Parang lahat ng oras ang ganda. Ang gaan. Ang saya. Di ko maexplain. Nangingiti na lang ako pag naiisip kita. Sa bawat pag ring ng cellphone ko. Ikaw ang pinapanalangin ko na sana makausap ko. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam. Pinadama mo ulit sakin ang pahalagahan. Ang ingatan. Ang mahalin. Ang sweet mo nga eh. Ang feelings ko sayo na pinipigilan ko, di nagtagal nasabi ko sayo. Alam mo, yun ang oras sa buhay ko na gusto ko balik balikan. Kung pwede lang sana i rewind, dun ako magsisimula. nung sinabi mo sakin... "I love you too..".

Tumagal ang pagsasama natin. Sa bawat sandali na magkahiwalay tayo, sobrang namimiss kita agad. At sabi mo sakin, ganun ka din. Ikaw ang naging laman ng facebook ko, ang cellphone ko, ng bukambibig ko. Palagi ko dinadasal sa dyos, "God alam ko pahiram mo lang sya sakin, salamat. Pero kung ok lang sayo, gusto ko matagal ko muna sya hiramin..". Pag nagsisimba ako, palagi ko sinasabi sa kanya sana maging maganda ang career mo. Napromote ka. And sobrang proud naman ako sayo. Bawat oras na magkasama tayo. May mga natutuklasan ako sayo. Maganda man or pangit, lahat yun ginusto ko kasi yun ka. Minahal kita dahil hindi sa kung ano lang ang maganda sayo. Kundi pati ang kahinaan mo. Mas minahal ko yun. Niyakap para mas mapalapit ka sa puso ko.

Tulad ng ibang relasyon, may unos. Dumating si nanay. Nahati ang oras ko sa inyong dalawa. Pilit ko kinakaya na puntahan ka sa office para makita kita. Yun ang nagbibigay sakin ng inspirasyon. Ng ngiti sa labi. Ng kilig sa puso. Nabawasan ang mga kilig moments dahil sa mall na lang tayo nagkakasama. Sa taxi ko na lamang nahahawakan ang kamay mo.. panakaw pa. Pero kahit ganun un, masaya pa rin ako. Kuntento basta nakakasama kita. Alam ko test yun para satin. Para sakin. Para maging mas maayos tayo sa future. 

Binigyan kita ng sama ng loob. Nagsorry ako. Binigyan kita ng bulaklak. Sana kahit papaano, gumaan ang loob mo. Sorry ha. Akala ko kasi... mga akala... akala na hindi nilinaw. Dun ko naramdaman ang unang paglayo mo sakin. May kirot sa puso. Pero di ko pinansin. Alam ko, maayos din ang lahat. Di ko alam ang nangyari, biglang nagulo ang isipan mo. Sana wala akong nagawang malaking mali para maging ganun ang nararamdaman mo. Ikaw ang laging inaalala ko. Ikaw ang gusto kong mapasaya higit pa sa sarili ko. Lumipas mga araw, lumalamig ang panahon... kasabay ng paglamig ng iyong puso. Anung nangyari? Unti unting lumalaki ang lamat sa puso. Pero di pa din ako sumusuko. Alam ko, tulad ng sinabi mo dati, mahal mo ako. Naramdaman ko iyon. Pero nagpapaalam ka na. Ayaw ko. Kahit masaktan ako, ayaw ko. Gusto kita sa tabi ko. Kahit mag back to zero tayo ok lang sakin. Ang mahalaga sakin, makita ka, makasama ka, mayakap ka at mahalin ka. 

Pero ganun pa man, nilagyan na ng puwang ang closeness natin. Masakit. Pero hindi ang sakit ang binibilang ko. Kundi ang mga pagkakataon na naging maligaya ako sa piling mo. Mahal na mahal kita wifey. Andito lang ako para sayo. Umaasa ako, hindi man ngayon. Sa hinaharap, ikaw pa rin ang makakatuluyan ko. Salamat dumating ka sa buhay ko. 

Ingat ka, tulad ng pag iingat ko sayo...

I LOVE YOU....

Oh no!!! eclipsed! LOL

Thank you wifey

all my life i have been selfish

all my life i have been insensitive

all my life i have been careless

all my life i have been tactless

all my life i have been quiet

all my life i have been passive

all my life i have been neglectful

all my life i have been empty

until i met you...

you have made me selfless

you have made me become sensitive

you have made me extra careful

you have made me tactful

you have made me talk

you have made me take extra effort

you have made me sweet

you have made me complete.

thank you...

for changing me

for reminding me what true love means

for making me a better person

for appreciating my effort

for accepting my weaknesses

for helping me dealt with my past

one thing is for sure...

and this is a promise....

i will take care of you...

like what husband does to his wife

i miss you.

you make me smile

what's in you that i cant forget?

your sweet smile

your scent

the look in you eyes

your kissable lips

the warmth of your embrace

your being mysterious

you simply make my day

and make me smile

like a teenager seeing his big time crush.

i like you :)

raw!